The inner child is the version of your younger self. Or, to put it simply, it is the childlike outlook that everyone has - something pure, innocent, and filled with curiosity. As an adult, a person may face challenges if they have an injured or traumatized inner child.
As infants and young children, it is critical for our overall development that our basic needs are met. The following are examples of areas of development that can be affected.
👉 Attachment: Bonds formed between a child and adult family/friends.
👉 Protection: Feeling safe and secure, both mentally and physically.
👉 Trust: Establishing the foundation to ensure all basic needs are met.
If these components are consistently missing for a young child, their view of the world cannot depend on adults. Many young children gradually move into survival mode without awareness. Because of this, many of our adult issues stem from unhealed childhood experiences. It can be valuable to tune in to your inner child and listen to the messages with open ears. Ask your younger self what you need to hear, see, feel, know, and understand.
As an adult, pay close attention to these signs. They will help you learn the general extent to which your inner child has been wounded and the level to which you feel unsafe in this world.
In the deepest part of me, I feel that there’s something wrong with me.
I experience anxiety whenever thinking about doing something new.
I’m a people-pleaser and tend to lack a strong identity.
I’m a rebel/misfit; I feel more alive when I conflict with other people.
I tend to hoard things and have trouble letting go.
I feel guilty standing up for myself.
I feel inadequate and “not good enough” as a person.
I’m always driven to be an A+ super-achiever.
I believe that I’m a terrible sinner, and I’m afraid of going to Hell.
I constantly criticize myself for being inadequate/unworthy.
I’m rigid and dwell on perfectionism.
I have trouble starting or finishing things.
I’m ashamed of expressing strong emotions such as sadness or anger.
I rarely get mad, but when I do, I become irate.
I am pressured to have sex.
I’m ashamed of my bodily functions (e.g., pee, poo, etc.)
I spend too much time looking at pornography.
I distrust everyone, including myself.
I am an addict or have been addicted to something.
I avoid conflict at every chance possible.
I am afraid of people and tend to avoid them.
I feel more responsible for others than for myself.
I never felt close to my mother or father.
My deepest fear is being abandoned; I’ll do anything to cling to a relationship.
I struggle to say “no.”
These statements are for you to reflect upon. Being honest with yourself can be challenging but necessary. Many times, unhealed inner child issues can play out in your relationships both personally and professionally. Triggers can happen at any time. Developing an understanding of what YOUR triggers are and how you react to another person is vital. Some triggers may include:
👉 Being bothered by small things
👉 Sudden and uncontrollable anger displayed by another
👉 Sensory sensitivity (being bothered by noises, voices, touch, etc.)
By creating an understanding of how our childhood experiences have left voids within us, we can work to develop deeper connections with others. Bringing awareness about the effects of trauma is mental health awareness. Mental health is physical health.